Audaciously Choosing Something Different

There's a medicine most of us keep at arm's length.

Pleasure.

Not the quick kind. Not the numbing kind. The real kind — the kind that requires us to stop remaining numb and feel it all.

Venus in retrograde, is probably why I'm contemplating pleasure in all its forms — not as an indulgence, but as a way back to self

I've struggled with this. I still do.

Accessing pleasure requires us to meet the stories of I'm too wounded, too exhausted, too aging, too stressed to go there. It requires us to meet the places we've turned away from and consciously rewire ourselves for pleasure — so that we can infuse a current of pleasure into whatever life brings, rather than numbing out or contracting.

This is a new way of being that I'm finally gifting myself. But it's taken years.

Years of directing my attention to always-on. Years of contracting in the pain and temporarily soothing. Years before I learned to choose pleasure before the world gives me a reason.

Not after the dishes are done. Not after the inbox is cleared. Not after the children are in bed or the weight is lost.

In fact, this pleasure is brought directly into the breakdown — so you emerge more turned on, with access to more life force than you had before the challenge.

The Places We Resist Hold the Most Medicine

I'm currently in a six-month embodied manifestation immersion, and it's taking me to places I have resisted for years.

What I've come to know is that the places that hold the most medicine are the ones we resist the most.

Why?

Because our inner knowing — our higher self — knows they will involve change. Consciously, we say we want change. But unconsciously, we can be stubbornly resisting it, because familiarity feels safe and our protective personality is hardwired for safety.

What's funny is this: once we've accessed the parts of us that resist, and then move beyond the known, the freedom we find is the very freedom from unease we've been searching for all along

The Witch Wound

Our pleasure is not frivolous. Our desire is not dangerous. Our radiance is not negotiable.

And yet our ego argues the opposite.

Not because it's being mean. But because we have memories stored in our bodies of times when being in our essence — deeply connected to nature, sharing our gifts — wasn't revered. It was punished.

Being seen risked being shamed.

Many of us know this as the witch wound. The vulnerable in my own letters asks me to meet these tender parts repeatedly. 

These fears (often unconcious) can deeply suppress our true desire. So manifestation becomes less easeful, because we are often trying to manifest a desire that is shallow — ego-driven, not deep soul-inspired.

This can keep us on the hamster wheel. Many of us have broken free of it on a material level, yet we're still stuck in it because we're still hardwired for safety at all costs.

Why This Matters Now

With so much struggle and destruction in the world, it's easy to tell ourselves there are more important things to focus on.

And yet, when we allow the pleasure in, we are far more resourced to face anything head on.

Our life force is turned up. We can meet the challenges resourced, not depleted.

So next time you feel resistance to running a ritual bath, or spending time exploring your body in the shower, know this: this level of internal resourcing goes way beyond self.

When a woman is lit up with her own life force energy, she can meet poverty, heartbreak, rejection — and still stand.

My Own Breaking Open

During my own dark night I first met my resistance to these pleasure portals.

I was working with a coach who showed me the tools. I was feeling it all — I had no choice after years of embodiment —  but I couldn't make my way to the pleasure that I now know is available in the rupture.

So what I'm learning now is what I wish I had mastered before life took me onto my knees — and where I stayed for a while.

I trust this was my way. There's never a wrong way.

But imagine being so intimate with your own pain — your past grief, your raw rage — and then melting into pleasure and alchemising that pain into power.

I rose from the ashes with grace, and I gained so much medicine on the way. But now I know that when life devastates you, there is another way to rise — one that goes beyond embodiment.

It's the most authentic path of the feminine. The one that undoes and remakes us in a single breath.

The Ongoing Descent and Ascent

Rupture and rapture. Descent and ascent. These are all the faces of the feminine.

Our recent ancestors were not privileged to receive this ancient wisdom. We are.

It still feels audacious to be choosing it — when really, it's our birthright.

And here's what I believe deeply: the more of us rewired for pleasure, the more feminine balance we'll bring to our planet. I think we can all see that's something our world needs right now.

What's Emerging

So Rebirth Your True Essence is evolving.

The guided descent and ascent — and embodied manifestation — is emerging into something new. A new container that I am birthing next year.

The details are still forming, but the invitation is already clear: to stop numbing, to stop contracting, to meet the resistance — and to choose pleasure before the world gives you reason.

To rise resourced, not depleted.

To remember that your radiance was never negotiable.

With love,
Louise