Womb deep knowing

'Transparency doesn’t mean everything has to be out, spoken and shared. The soul has its private and secret places where it houses its deepest treasures. True transparency begins with being absolutely honest with yourself, and that takes a lot of maturity'.
Gene Keys 

This year is moving at a speed that’s leaving many of us breathless. It’s a relentless cycle of death and rebirth, of shedding past versions of ourselves so fast we can barely process it.

The call right now isn’t to figure it out. It’s to look at who we were with so much love and compassion. To thank those old skins for keeping us safe, even as we outgrow them.

How do we navigate this?

I've been initiated into this sharply and repeatedly this year - we stop trying to think our way through it.

When we soften the mind, we open to the deep feminine mystery—the kind of wisdom that doesn't live in our head. It pulses in our heart. It hums in our womb. It’s a truth we feel in our bones, one that we'll never logic our way into.

 I’ve been diving into that unknown. Welcoming the mystery. And I won’t lie—it’s been the scariest thing I’ve ever navigated.

This is the void. The stillness. And in that quiet, everything we’ve been running from rises up to meet us. Our shadows. We have a choice: we can turn away, or we can learn to dance with them.

I’ve been riding these perpetual cycles, barely coming up for air. I see my own reflex: when something uncomfortable surfaces, my first instinct is to outsource. To find a book, a teacher, a podcast—anything to tell me what it means so I don’t have to feel it.

But the real magic happens in the moments we stop reaching out, and instead, drop in. We find a deep, innate wisdom waiting right here in the body.

This is the core of what we’re practicing together in our monthly Abide gatherings. Because nobody taught us how to do this. And it is the most powerful way back home to our authentic self.

Research finally confirms what we’ve always known: happiness isn’t about feeling good all the time. It’s about authenticity. It’s about being connected to how we actually feel, without resistance.

The path home isn't around the pain. It’s straight through the portal of feeling it all. It’s about embracing our own shadow.

This isn’t easy. But it’s also not nearly as challenging as your mind wants you to believe.

This week, a hidden shadow of mine clawed its way to the surface. My instant reaction was aversion—it was a trait I deeply judge and dislike in others. (A classic sign: our shadows are always mirrored in what we judge outside ourselves.)

I sat with it. I didn't run. I nursed it with compassion like a wounded thing. And now that it’s on the surface, I’m being shown why this fractured part of me developed in the first place. (It’s always, always a strategy to keep us safe.) Now, I’m sitting with all the icky, uncomfortable feelings that truth brings up.

It might sound like a strange way to spend my time. But I’ve learned it’s worth every second of the short-lived discomfort.

Because the gifts are always hidden in the shadow. The liberation is on the other side of the feeling.

Keep feeling your way through it. You're not alone.