Let rip. Rage as ecstasy. Let it in and let it go!
Here's a truth I've been sitting with: pain is part of the human experience.
That's one arrow.
The arrow comes in. It hurts. And if we allow it, it passes through and lets go.
But so many of us are so afraid of feeling our feelings that we create a second arrow — with the fear.
So we have the pain, which is one arrow. And then the fear of feeling the pain becomes the double arrow.
Instead of just allowing the pain to hurt — to let it hurt and let it go — we let the arrow get trapped with the fear of feeling the pain. And then it actually just hurts more. And it takes longer. And it gets trapped inside of us.
The work I am in is getting out of the trap of the double arrow.
This is a new muscle. And it's been built on a foundation of regular meditation — cultivating presence, cultivating embodiment, cultivating safety.
Why This Is So Challenging
Many of you may have heard of parts work. It's a therapeutic approach developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, based on the concept that the mind is composed of multiple distinct parts or subpersonalities — each with its own perspective, feelings, and memories.
These parts form an internal family. And they can take on different roles — protectors or exiles.
The protectors are the parts of us trying to keep us safe by managing and controlling our environment and behaviour. The exiles are the parts we've pushed away — the wounded, the vulnerable, the too-much.
In emotional alchemy, we go into the sacred sorrow — and we get to dance with the exile. We go into the sacred rage — and we get to dance with the protector.
Because most of these parts split off because their needs weren't being met in some way. Oftentimes, we weren't given the space or safety to fully express our feelings and regulate when we were children. So we had to learn to cope.
And a lot of it had to do with someone who didn't know how to regulate their own nervous system. Maybe Mum got sad and drank too much, and now you didn't feel safe because Mum was drunk. Or maybe Dad got mad and didn't know how to regulate, and now you didn't feel safe because he was yelling and screaming, and it seemed dangerous.
So for many of us, the first time we saw big emotion, it was in a dysregulated and unsafe way.
And now, as adults, when we see someone expressing emotion, it can make us feel scared and triggered.
This is our opportunity to draw a line in the sand — between healthy, safe, regulated, fully expressed emotion and dysregulation. When someone is dysregulated and doesn't know how to bring themselves back, everyone around them starts to feel unsafe. Everyone's nervous system starts to feel dysregulated, even if they're not aware of it.
What we want to encourage — and the muscle we're starting to build — is a healthy expression of emotion from a place of regulation. This is one of the points of emotional alchemy. And we do that by learning to hold our inner children. By learning to connect with little you.
The Inner Adult and the Inner Child
Let's talk about how you can inhabit your inner child and your inner adult at the same time.
When we're in that inner child place, our instinct is to be dysregulated — in the hope that some magical adult will come and co-regulate with us. In the hope that Mum or Dad or whoever will come and say, "Oh honey, you're in pain. Let me help you. Let me offer you my nervous system and regulate with you."
So many of us get stuck in this modality: I'm struggling. Will someone outside please come and help me?
And now we have the opportunity to go on this painful but incredibly empowering journey of learning how to be that adult for ourselves.
How can we hold the pain of the inner child that wanted Mum or Dad to comfort it — and allow space for that pain and disappointment that maybe mum or dad wasn't able to give you what you needed?
You can give that to yourself now.
We get to find this inner adult and regulate with little you. It might be second best, but you can say to that little kid: I love you. I love you. And now I will regulate with you.
We just want to acknowledge that our nervous system's instinct is to be out of control, so that we can get the help we deserved when we were children. And now the painful journey is acknowledging that it's never going to come — because once you're an adult, it's kind of too late. Other adults can be helpful, but they are unreliable.
We need to learn how to be that adult for ourselves. We need to learn how to regulate for ourselves. And to express these emotions in a healthy and regulated way.
This is the whole point of emotional alchemy.
Bliss Is Any Feeling Fully Felt
And here's the reminder I keep coming back to: bliss is any feeling fully felt.
Bliss is not happiness. Bliss is the piece of you that knows and trusts that everything is already okay — including your rage.
So we may be able to feel this rage so fully that we might even be able to find bliss.
And remember — we have the opportunity to learn our lessons on the spiritual plane. If we don't learn them there, they show up on the psychological plane. And if we don't learn them there, they show up on the physical plane.
So while this might be brave, while this might be uncomfortable — you bravely going in and moving this emotion, moving these feelings through your body — you are setting your future self up for so much more spaciousness. So much more healing. So much more capacity for joy. Capacity for bliss. And ultimately, capacity for magic.
Why I Sit in Circles
Because others illuminate for us what is often sitting inside our unconscious. Others get to be activators — they begin to open the trap door between our unconscious and conscious.
The mirror offered by a circle has been the source of my biggest breakthroughs. If that circle creates the safety for the feeling to be felt — let it in and let it go — this is the alchemy.
It requires a sacred container where the energy is held by spirit, and by space holders who have met their own shadow and know how to regulate their own nervous system.
And when we feel — when we do this work — we do it not only for present you, but also for little you. For future you. For your parents, your grandparents, your great-grandparents. For your children, and your children's children.
Expressing this emotion right here, right now — yes, it will be good for you. But you have the opportunity to create a ripple effect in both directions. As much as seven generations back, and seven generations forward.
This is the work. And it's why I keep showing up.
What's Coming
Rebirth Your True Essence is my intimate online container — a space that cultivates safety to feel, and the art of letting go. It's where we build the vessel, where we learn to regulate, where we come home to the body.
And in 2027, I'll be introducing something new: Inhabit Your True Essence.
This is the deeper work. The next layer. Emotional alchemy that lays the foundation for embodied manifestation. Because before we can truly create, we have to clear the channels. Before we can manifest, we have to feel.
It's still in the birthing process. But I wanted you to know it's coming.
The descent is completing. The rising begins.
With love,
Louise